DISQUS

Steve · 3 years ago

Why in God's name would you care who Harold Ford dated? I mean this is silly. I could care less who he sleeps with. If he dumped his girlfriend, so what.


I mean, Oprah's had white boyfriends, people would be laughed at if they didn't watch her show for that reason. Halle Berry has white men all over her in the movies, besides being having a white mother.



He's a politician. Judge him on his record. If he's not going to date you, that's an issue you might want to leave outside the voting booth.



I don't remember anyone asking who Cynthia McKinney was dating, when Bill Maher drooled all over her on TV

Terrence · 3 years ago

I think you are right, Jill. But there are a lot of brothas who do not like brothas abandoning sistahs for non-black women.


He probably lost a lot of votes with brothas too. Granted people are people, when a guy (or gal, for that matter) seems to have an EXCULSIVE racial preference, there is an underlying issue somewhere - whether it's Harold Jr. or Bill Maher.



Find love where you can.

Tariq Nelson · 3 years ago

I have family in Tennessee and - though it was talked about from your angle - I don't think it had a significant impact because Corker was seen as worse. He won nearly 70% of the total vote in his majority black district.


Another thing that noone is talking about is that in Ford's home district, they elected (hands down) a white man to replace in Congress. This tells me that perhaps racial politics is fading.



On the other hand, had Ford been dark skinned, I have a feeling he would have caught more flack behind it. Ford is kinda/sorta seen as 'non-black'

Anonymous · 3 years ago

Anyone who votes based on such a rationale shouldn't be voting. I think it is ridiculous.

Sewere · 3 years ago

I think this issue of successful black men exclusively dating white women, has been excessively exaggerated in the black community. This issue that has now become a phenomenon is very similar to the way the black community blames the spread of HIV on gay black men who are in heterosexual relationships (aka the "downlow" effect) because of the stigma associated with homosexuality. In survey after survey that my I have seen, the overwhelming factor in the spread of HIV in the black community are heterosexual (men more than women) having unprotected sex with multiple partners (please go on Pubmed and type in search words to find articles). Of course, a few gay black men are married because of their fear of being ostracized from their communities but the number of this men who have unprotected is far less significant (in terms of the impact of the spread of STIs) than the number of heterosexual men having unprotected sex.


I’ve said all of that to say this; we have still to come up with tangible means of understanding why some black men are marrying white women. Of course there is an endogamous (black men + black women) disparity between black men (more likely to out marry) than black women (less likely to out marry). However, in terms of proportion of black marriages; black men are still marrying black women at a steady rate (please see US Census). Furthermore, interracial marriages between black men and women to people of non-white ethnicities, has been on the increase. Even these data are still not enough to assess how individual black men decide to marry non-black women because there is still not enough qualitative evidence to explain the trend. But I have yet to see a study showing that a majority or even a substantial number of black men have a preference for white women over black women; rather than an finding any woman that is available. I would hope that statements such as "successful black men in favor of white women" can be supported with more than just anecdotal evidence. Because what ends up happening is that these men are ostracized by their communities because they did not show “loyalty by marriage”.

Pete · 3 years ago

What ever happened to voting for a candidate because of his MERITS instead of who he dates??

Christopher Chambers · 3 years ago

I think you have to be true to yourself and if you are, the voters will respond. Hal played games, tried to be slick. I include his shading into this I love the NRA and anti-fag stuff. Notice a lot of the white and black Dems who won were failry straight shooters (Webb and Cardin, Derval Patrick), not traditional Democrat lightening bolts for controversy, a la Slick Willie, his wife, the Kennedys or Jesse (Junior and Senior). Tell them I broke up with this so-called "perfect" sista (and I'm in DC so I can get all the dirt from Hal's fellow Penn gads) because people don't get along. I met this white chick and we hit it of. Nuff said. Any of you who don't like it, tough. Then attack like a Rottweiler on Corker's ads, call him a redneck douchebag to his face. Tell him that black people DIED at the hands of people like his ancestors for the RIGHT and the CHOICE to attend St Albans, Penn, not talk like you just fell off a turnip truck in order to satisfy some bamma idyll...


Keep snowflake in the open if snowflake's a good person and hard campaign worker. Look, I heard some fool (it may have been an ally of Booker Rising) take the Obama thing even further...that Obama's wife is "darker skinned and not very glamorous" is an "asset." Huh?



Look, and Hal got as far as he did in the state where the KKK was born should be good enough for us now. Close does count here, as Corker is going to have to sweat everything he says and does.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

I hadn't thought of it that way, but I suppose it's possible. Harold should have known better. Someone needed to sit his behind down and tell him that a single Black man would NOT be elected to the Senate. All he needed was a wife and some kids.


As for Obama, his wife is definitely an asset for him - smart, intelligent, down to earth - she's a Sista on top of her game, and Obama's lucky to have her. If Harold had the equivalent, he might very well be a Senator-elect now.

Sewere · 3 years ago

In addition to my last comment, I wanted to add that black men dating or married to non-black women are not necessarily disparaging of black women, because that assumes two separate factors; i.e. being with a non-black woman is not always the same thing as hating black women. Because the same erroneous conclusion could be drawn from assuming that black men who are with “light-skinned” black women equate light skin with beauty and dark skin with lack of beauty. In essence, an examination of intention is necessary before coming to the conclusion that all black-white relationships are as a result of internal racism when black endogamous relationships may have just the same amount of internal racism.


Lastly, I want to add that there are a combination of factors at play that has yet to be addressed in the discussion of the disparity in interracial relationships between black men and black women. These factors lie at the intersection of sexism and racism especially as it relates to black women, such that black women are obligated to maintaining black marriages and subsequently black marriages, more so than black men. Black women for centuries have had the label “keepers of black culture as focal progenitors of the black race” imposed upon them such that the very concept of dating interracial is almost an anathema. This issue has been shrouded under the guise of “protecting sexuality and reproduction of black identity”, when, in reality, black identity is complex and multi-faceted. The idea that when black women marry non-black men, their children will loose legitimacy as black children because they will be mixed which completely misses that black identity in the United States has always been inclusive of the mixed experience. So this idea of black women procreating the black race should not be just be taken for face value.

Jill Tubman · 3 years ago

This post appears to have touched a nerve. I agree that voters respect honesty. Jim Webb didn't hide his wife just because she's Asian-American. He's clearly proud of his family and who he is. Ford would have been better off being honest about his life and instilling trust in voters.


To the thought that racial politcs is fading, I beg to differ. That said, I think the game is changing rapidly. Thanks for all the great comments, y'all. I'm digging it.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

As the only black female to respond to this post so far (I think), I have to agree with Jill's point.


Most African American women have grown up having the image of white women as the standard of beauty constantly thrust in our faces. So when a successful brother leaves his a good black woman for a random white chick we feel dissed, plain and simple.



To those of us who are still seeking someone, like many of my beautiful, successful friends are, that dissed feeling can turn to outrage. And yes, I beleive it's a rage powerful enough to affect a vote.



Anyone who thinks it is ridiculous that an issue like this could come into play really ought to remember that most of America felt Clinton rightly deserved to be forced out of office. Over a bj. So black women aren't the only ones who make political decisions based on a politician's personal life.



I agree with Christopher – my husband and I were just discussing this, actually – Ford needs a wife if he expects to get anywhere politically. And he needs a sister.



Nothing against interracial marriages on a case by case basis, my husband is mixed – but can you imagine Tennessee's reaction to Harold Ford Jr. with his bottle blonde wife and mulatto kids?



He really ought to know better.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

I'm a Black female too, and Harold should have known better. Harold needs to decide what he wants. If all he wants is to be a Congressman from Memphis, then he can continue with his business as usual.


IF he aspires to higher office, Senator, maybe Governor, down the line, possible VP candidate - then he must get married, and it must be a Sista. Married and with children by the next time he runs for office.



IF he decides that he's through with public office, and is going to go corporate...then he can have all the White women he chooses.



But, he'll not go any further without being married.



You can be divorced...means that you took the leap and got married. But voters, those ' family values' folks, wanna see a 35+ year old man married, with family.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

I'm a black woman, too, and I say let's get over black men dating whomever they wish to date. They ain't the only men on earth, and men are all the same, more or less.
Sistas should expand their horizons and be open to new experiences. "Other" men like us, and we should give them a chance.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

as a sista, ford could been w/ the most upstanding sista in the world, & he still wouldn't have gotten my vote. he tried to deny his own grandmother was black (he got busted on it, check the black commentator web site) & he voted FOR the military commissions act.

Lester Spence · 3 years ago

ford didn't lose the sister vote. he lost the undecided vote. and even here he lost not because he went to the playboy gig...but because he didn't call the ad out for what it was. to be fair to him NO one has done this...but the research shows it is a winning strategy.

Gandalf Mantooth · 3 years ago

Rumors. I know for fact that he doesn't have a "White Girlfriend" kept hidden, and he didn't "dump" his fiancee for a White woman. The


Anonymous(es),

Ford "grandmother" issue is not one. Apparently Vera's own children haven't decided whether or not she was "White." So I know you don't know.



Surely you mean that Ford has to be married to a Black woman to win statewide office in TN, and not in general.



I work my day job at an HBCU. They know I'm affiliated with JR there. After the campaign, three of the women working there sat down around me and all said that he (JR) should have been married. They never said that it had to be a Black woman, one addressed that point in fact (that he didn't have to be married to a Black woman, though I'm sure she knew the potential effects).



Thing is, not many African American women here were talking about, if they'd heard about them at all, rumors of Ford only dating White women, etc. However, some people tried to float some rumors early in the general election. Nothing got traction until the Call Me ad.



Ford enjoyed overwhelming support among African American voters. They (we) had already decided who they would support very early, and those undecideds who broke for Corker as a result of the ad were most assuredly not African American.



This Booker rising is nonsense.

Anonymous · 3 years ago

another case of blame the black women for a black man's shortcomings


he lost because he and his family were shady, bumbling buffoons who tried one trick too many

Keshia · 2 years ago

Harold Ford Jr lost this race when he showed up at Bob Corker's press conference in Memphis unannounced. It was very child-like behavior; it was as if they were in elementary school; on the playground about to have a fight because, 'I heard you were talking about my mama.' There were so many people who were undecided on a candidate and that move by Ford helped them make the decision. I am not quite sure which of his employees allowed such a dumb move but they should have been fired immediately.

JDH · 1 year ago

Simply put, if a black man leaves a black woman, obvious it wasn't meant to be! It has nothing to do with a "Good" black woman or color. How lame does that sound. The merits of a relationship does not completely stand on if she's educated, good family etc.. Men don't leave woman who they want to be with, and it doesn't matter what color you are! That should go both ways. It'll be great if Black woman would start to focus on that, instead of "I'm a good black woman". How good do you think you are? As far as Ford, it's all politics. No one thing made him lose office.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

(Since I see a recent post added to this...)I live in DC (where Ford was raised) and have to say, the white girlfriend/wife thing did cross my mind. My husband and I were out one afternoon in the fall after campaigning for Obama and saw him walking with a white woman. I noted that he wouldn't become a senator, now. I still think that's true. Yes, I think it would have definately been beneficial were he married, because it alludes to stability, but when it seems that a black man PREFERS white women, there will be a problem... especially when he's not out in the open with this relationship.